Beautiful Mistakes Read online

  "How does 6:30 sound? I can come help you get your stuff so we only have to make the one trip and we'll get you settled in."

  "I suppose that's fine," she said.

  "What's wrong?" he asked, noting her lack of enthusiasm.

  She laughed a little. "What isn't? Yeah, 6:30 will be fine. Will she be home?"

  "She should be. I'm hoping she is so she can keep Anna while we move you in."

  "And you're coming here?" she asked, realizing for the first time that meant Matt and Jack would probably be there at the same time.

  "That's the plan," he said abruptly. "But hey, I have to go. I'll call you later."

  "Okay," she said hurriedly, responding to his sudden rush. "Bye."

  Julie sighed and closed her cell phone, then she went back to packing her things, trying not to dread what Jack might say to Matt in the coming evening.

  ---

  As Julie finished packing her things that day, she battled herself over what had taken place with Jack. She felt really guilty about it, even though she wasn't sure if the guilt was appropriate. Matt was married, after all, and she told herself she was sure he had probably done things she wouldn't want to know about with Emma, too—best not to think about those things. On top of that, she had tried to stop Jack, he just wouldn’t listen.

  Besides, it wasn’t like she wanted to be with anyone but Matt.

  When Matt got to the apartment Julie was the only one there, and as soon as she saw him she felt a strange lifting feeling, and she couldn't seem to get to him fast enough to wrap her arms around him and just hug him.

  "Whoa," he said, chuckling. "Miss me?"

  "I want to get out of here. Could we hurry? I don't want to be here when Jack gets home."

  "When does he get home?" Matt asked, releasing Julie and following her inside.

  "He should have been here already, so anytime."

  They got right to work hauling boxes and Julie's suitcase, but they only got the first two loads out, and in the middle of the third and final load Jack came moseying through the door.

  "You weren't going to leave without saying goodbye, now were you?" Jack drawled sarcastically as he hung his keys up on the key holder.

  "Yes," Julie stated unapologetically.

  "After all we've been through?"

  "Especially after all we've been through," she stated, picking up the last box.

  But Jack wasn't even looking at Julie, his attention was on Matt. "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Jack, Julie's boyfriend."

  "Ex-boyfriend," she reminded him, walking forward so he might get the hint and move.

  He stayed where he was. "You must be Matt," Jack went on, his gaze locking with Matt's in a falsely friendly gesture, his eyes like chips of ice. "The husband, right?"

  Julie merely shot Jack a dirty look.

  "I'm surprised your wife is so… amenable to the idea of Julie moving in."

  "Live-in nannies are fairly common," Matt responded coolly.

  Jack scoffed, a knowing smirk curving his lips. "I'm sure they are."

  "Jack," Julie said, a slight warning in her tone telling him not to go there.

  He caught Julie by the arm, stopping her as she tried to walk out the door. "I'm going to wait for you for two weeks. I'm not going to sleep with anyone else, regardless of what you're doing. I'm going to be patient and wait for you to come back. After two weeks, I'm going to start seeing people, but if you realize you've made a mistake after that… I'm still here."

  Averting her gaze, Julie shook her head and said a bit quietly, "Don't wait for me, Jack. I'm not coming back."

  "Yes you will. You always come back to me. It isn't in you to do this, Julie. You're not this kind of person. You're a good person, you don't sleep with married—”

  "Stop," she said harshly, squaring her shoulders and shoving past him, out into the hallway.

  "She'll be back," Jack said to Matt. "When you're done playing with her, she's going to come back to me."

  "Whatever you say, man," was Matt's indifferent response.

  "Not that it matters to you," he went on. "You don't care about her; you're married, why would you? When you're fucking her tonight, you're not going to care that I was fucking her last night."

  Julie felt her heart slam in her chest, and all she could think about was getting away. She didn't even take the time to deny it, she just made her way down the stairs as fast as she could, hoping that if she ever got the nerve to look in Matt's face again, there wouldn't be accusation there.

  About two minutes had passed before she was forced to look at him as she got into his car. Her gaze slid sideways, stealing a glance at him.

  "He was nice," Matt said a touch sarcastically. "Are you sure you want to let that one go?"

  "What he said wasn't true," she said, finally deciding she would just deny it.

  "Is that why you wouldn't look at me?" he asked, not even bothering to look at her as he asked the question indifferently, pulling onto the road.

  She swallowed, feeling like a scolded child.

  "Did we get all your stuff?" he asked, changing the subject.

  She swallowed again, her throat feeling oddly tight. "Yes," she said very quietly.

  At the tone of her voice Matt glanced over at her, saw her taut features and the slight strain in her face. He reached over instantly and grabbed her hand, wrapping his larger one around it. "Julie, I'm not mad at you," he assured her.

  Words seemed to elude her, and she could only shake her head silently, trying to swallow the tight lump in her throat yet again.

  "Stop that," he said, moving his hand down to just lightly caress her thigh.

  But she felt the need to explain herself. "We didn't… I hate him."

  "It doesn't matter," he stated.

  "It matters to me," she retorted vehemently.

  "Okay, then I believe you. Just stop worrying about it."

  Julie stopped fussing about it then, but as she stared quietly at the hand he had resting on her thigh, she had the very distinct feeling that he was lying to her.

  ---

  While normally it seemed like Emma was never home, now that Julie was living there it was almost as if Emma sensed that something was going on—and saw it as her duty to stop it.

  Emma had never been especially friendly toward Julie, but it seemed to Julie –who reasoned that she could just be suffering from a paranoid guilty conscience—that she was constantly being spiteful, as if she suspected the real reason for Julie moving in and wanted to make her suffer for it instead of calling her out on it.

  It almost felt like a game.

  Emma even stayed home for dinner—which Matt made—and made what should have been friendly conversation with Julie about college.

  "Oh, I remember when Matt and I were in college. We went to a Lutheran college, and of course the RA was very strict about boys and girls not being allowed in each other's dorms past a certain time." Emma giggled, caressing Matt's hand on the table. "Of course we found our ways around that."

  Julie hoped her face wasn't as red as it felt as she forced a smile and took a bite of her salad without tasting it.

  Once dinner was over and Julie single-handedly cleared the table, she made her way into the living room where, nestled on the same damn couch she and Matt had had sex on was Emma, Matt and Anna—the very picture of the perfect family.

  Even though she knew logically that she had no right to care, it still made her stomach hurt to have it rubbed in her face.

  "Jamie," Emma said, "Why don't you take Anna up for her nap?"

  Julie nodded, not bothering to correct her about her name. "Okay."

  "After that you can go to your room and study or something. My husband and I would like a little time alone," Emma said, smiling slyly at Julie as she caressed Matt's hand.

  It took everything in Julie's power not to look at Matt then, to give them away completely. She waited in vain for him to say something, anything subtle just to reassure her that what
Emma was insinuating wouldn't truly happen, that it was just a trick to terrorize Julie.

  But he said nothing. Not a peep.

  So Julie managed to hold her fake smile as she took Anna, hoping her face wouldn't crack in half, and she made herself scarce, off to try to study and avoid the feeling of nausea that overcame her when she heard Emma talking sweetly to Matt.

  ---

  It was a full week before she was able to see Matt alone again. Emma seemed to be ever present, but on the following Friday night duty must have finally called, and she had a "work thing" that she had to get to.

  By that time, Julie was so frazzled that she found herself—at times—wishing she would have just continued to live with Jack. Or better yet, made a much better decision not to sleep with Matt and save half of her income every week until she had saved enough to move out into a place of her own. Sure, she would have double the student loan debt, but maybe it would have been worth it.

  It was late by the time Emma left, so Anna was already in bed, and with Emma's subtle digs all week, Julie didn't even feel like being around Matt, so she retired to her room to "study" before Emma even left.

  It was about 20 minutes after Emma was last heard from that Julie's door opened and Matt crept in.

  "You awake?" he whispered.

  Julie didn't answer, half hoping he would think she was asleep and just go back to his own room. She was so depressed at having to think of him in bed with Emma all week that she definitely wasn't in the mood to have his hands on her.

  But instead of going away, Matt climbed into bed beside her. "Julie?"

  "I'm sleeping," she stated.

  "Obviously not," he said. "What's wrong?"

  She didn't answer, just kept her eyes closed and tried to ignore his presence.

  "Are you mad at me?" he whispered into her ear, his tone slightly playful as his hand crept up to cup her breast in the palm of his hand.

  "No," she responded without much conviction.

  "You sound mad," he said, allowing his thumb to brush her nipple.

  "I'm not mad," she said, pushing his hand away, "I'm just tired."

  He scoffed a little. "Now you sound like my wife."

  Since she wasn't looking at him, she didn't know if it was a playful scoff or a real scoff, but her temper came to life at that comment.

  "No, if I sounded like your wife I would be all over you like a $2 whore trying to make her quota, and I would make sure to be very fucking loud about it!"

  The sound she heard in response was a rough laugh, leading her to the conclusion that it had probably been intended as a playful remark. "So that's what has you all bothered, huh? It's just Emma?"

  Just Emma? Just his wife—no big deal. Not that she could complain extensively about him sleeping with the woman he was married to—still, it was really damn unromantic.

  "I'm not bothered," Julie muttered untruthfully.

  "You're definitely bothered. I just can't believe someone as smart as you would play right into her hand like that."

  Frowning, Julie asked, "What do you mean?"

  "Come on, you have to know that she's testing you. She's been baiting you all week. Have you ever seen Emma being anything like affectionate toward me until I suggested you move in here?" he responded logically.

  Well, no….

  "It wouldn't bother you to see her appearing to be all over me, to assume we're having sex all the time, unless….?"

  "Unless I was sleeping with you," Julie realized, everything finally making sense.

  "Bingo," he said, lightly kissing her on the temple.

  She turned over then, looking up at him. "So none of it's true, then? You guys haven't been…?"

  He shook his head, smiling, and allowed his hand to move up under her t-shirt, causing gooseflesh to rise all over her stomach.

  Vast relief mingled with her desire to believe him and move on to nicer activities, so she smiled up at him, pulling him down to kiss her.

  Within a matter of minutes Matt had her pajama pants at the foot of the bed and his condom on, moving between her legs to alleviate—at least temporarily—any remaining doubts she might have.

  Chapter Seven-

  As is the case with most disasters, it happened very suddenly.

  One day everything is going fine—well, as fine as things can be when you're living with the guy you're beginning to have strong feelings for, and his mean, obnoxious, ever-present wife.

  Julie was making lunch, and part of Anna's lunch was macaroni and cheese. Anna sat patiently in her seat making little babbling noises and playing with her cup while Julie chopped up the mac and cheese into smaller pieces so Anna didn't choke on it.

  All of a sudden the odor of the macaroni and cheese assaulted Julie's nose and she felt bile rising at the back of her throat, so she covered her mouth and ran over to the garbage can.

  "Ah!" Anna screamed from her chair, pointing at Julie. "Oh, Nana!"

  Julie dry-heaved for almost a full minute, then she collapsed down in a chair, grabbing the glass of water she had on the counter and chugging it.

  "I'm okay," Julie murmured reassuringly at Anna, forcing a smile for the baby.

  Anna watched Julie with an appraising look, but after a few seconds she accidentally knocked her cup over, so that stole her attention and she began banging the cup around.

  "What the hell was that?" Julie muttered to herself doubtfully as she slowly rose from the chair and made her way back over to the mac and cheese, hesitating before picking up the bowl and carrying it over to Anna, putting it down in front of her.

  "Ooh!" Anna said happily. "Yeah!"

  Julie produced a smile. "You eat that up, ok?"

  Anna just grinned at Julie and took a spoon full of macaroni, shoving half of it into her mouth and the other half on her chin.

  "Let me get you a napkin, sweetie," Julie said, turning to walk over to the other side of the counter where the napkins where.

  Suddenly Julie gasped as she realized there was a figure in the doorway, her thin arms crossed, her blonde hair as perfect as always, and her perfectly lined and shadowed blue eyes narrowed as she gazed in Julie's direction.

  "Hi," Julie said disjointedly. "I…didn't know you were home."

  "My lunch got cancelled, I thought I'd stop in and check on my precious girl," Emma said, making a cutesy face at Anna. "Hello, darling."

  Anna smiled at her mother a little bit, then resumed stuffing the macaroni and cheese in her face.

  Emma's gaze returned sharply to Julie. "Are you ill?"

  Julie opened her mouth, but no words came out, so she just kind of stood there awkwardly. "Um…I…Maybe."

  Making some sort of condescending noise, Emma moved past Julie and walked over to retrieve the napkin Julie had been after, walking over and handing it to Anna. Then she spun around, folding her arms across her chest and looked at Julie appraisingly, but didn't utter a word.

  The wave of nausea that hit her when she smelled the macaroni and cheese was back, and Julie knew without a doubt that she was about to throw up.

  "Excuse me," she called, turning and running to the bathroom just in time to empty the contents of her stomach

  Emma didn't say anything to Julie –literally, she spoke to Anna while she was home and then she left—but Emma didn't return home until right after Matt.

  But when she got home, boy did she look pissed off.

  Julie didn't even get a chance to talk to Matt before Wifezilla came swooping in and took Matt to the study, leaving Julie to stand there stupidly with Anna on her hip as she tried not to listen to Emma's raised voice in the next room.

  It had been a little over three weeks since Emma's trip to New York, but with all the studying Julie was doing to prepare for her upcoming comprehensive finals and then her nanny position of keeping Anna and Matt entertained, she had somehow completely missed the fact that she was about a week late.

  You know, late.

  Emma didn't come out of the study, bu
t about a minute after Emma took him in there, Matt came out, a slightly determined look on his face as he grabbed Julie lightly by the arm and dragged her into the kitchen.

  Julie put Anna down and patted her on the behind to signal her to head back into the living room, then she straightened and looked at Matt.

  "Are you pregnant?" he asked bluntly.

  "I don't know," she responded honestly. "I haven't had time to take a test, and I didn't even think about it until this morning when—”

  "We used condoms," he said quietly, cutting her off.

  "Yeah. Except for the one time," she added.

  She heard him mutter a curse under his breath. "One time. That's fucking brilliant."

  Julie frowned, but before she could say anything he continued, "Well, you need to take a test, then if you are we need to figure out who the father is."

  Her frown deepened and she said, "Now wait just a minute, I'm not a whore, I don't need to go on Maury. If I'm pregnant, it's definitely yours—I haven't been with Jack in ages."

  "That's not what he said."

  "We didn't have sex," Julie said lowly, her eyes narrowing. "He was talking about something else, and he was trying to cause trouble anyway, so why would you listen to him? If I'm pregnant, it is absolutely by you, and you can make me take as many paternity tests as you want, 'cause they'll all say the same thing."

  "Fuck," he said, running his hand through his hair.

  It was all so romantic, she thought sarcastically.

  "Can we just calm down here?" she suggested. "I'm probably not. I'm probably stressed out 'cause of finals and every—”

  "We're getting you a test. I'm going to the store right now."

  "You're supposed to take them in the morning for the best results," she argued.

  "I'll buy two; you're taking one as soon as I can possibly get it back here, so go drink a glass of water or something. I'll be back."

  And just like that, he was gone.

  And he was being a bastard.

  Maybe he would come around, she reasoned feebly.

  Probably not, she thought more realistically as she watched Emma enter the room, her eyes narrowed venomously in Julie's direction.

  Since Emma usually avoided talking to Julie, she was surprised when Emma walked right over to her and stared at her for a couple seconds.